Having been a writer for 10 years now, I’ve received huge amounts of internet. I’ve got a thick-skin and no comment on an article or message has ever concerned me. Death threats, people sending razor blades in the post, people threatening to turn up where I’m DJing to assault me, people finding me on social networks and unloading bile, people writing articles about me and creating fake accounts so they can pretend they’re women in a bid to get naked photos of me… it’s all been going on.
So with that, here’s a few bits of advice in dealing with it.
- Most internet hate is hot air. Seriously. Don’t take it personal. Someone’s idea of a joke is basically to think of the most hurtful thing to say, and tell you. They don’t mean it. They just get a kick out of the response.
- Let shit slide. Most heat you receive doesn’t mean anything. Bluster should slide off you like you’re made of Teflon. Do they know you? No. Should you process it? No. That’s because that exact message will have been received by a dozen people that day. It isn’t personal.
- Be kind. You invariably don’t have the time to take a troll on. They’ve got more time on their hands, thanks to a willingness to make the time. You’ve got shit to do, so tell them they’re funny or seem nice then waltz away. Being friendly is a hate-boner killer.
- Don’t read it. If someone is being a dick, they’ll make their intentions clear early doors. Delete that shit. You’ve got far better things to fill your head with.
- Death threats and warnings of imminent violence. C’mon, they don’t know where you live. No-one is actually going to go through with it either. No-one wants to be that person who turns up in a bar to punch someone over some words they read. If they do, everyone in the bar would hand them their arse on a silver platter.
- Don’t, whatever you do, imply that they’re sad, lonely, still living at their parents. Don’t imply they’re a sad, overweight guy. Firstly, that’s catnip to a wind-up merchant AND bluster-hate comes from all quarters. Once you try and get a moral upper hand… once you state that they’re inertly angry, you lose. That’s because trolls are invariably calm when they type, have decent jobs and aren’t single at all. They’re just holidaying in dickishness.
- Do forget about it. Very few internet haters are good at insulting and certainly haven’t come up with an insult you haven’t aimed at yourself already… so let it go. Sure, it is thoroughly needless, but equally, don’t needlessly store it.
- Don’t try and curry favour online. Why? The support you get is usually as empty at the threats. More to the point, when people mew in support, the troll gets a load more people they can razz online. All you’re doing is spread the hate and painting more targets on people’s backs.
- Seduce them. This is completely snide, but if you’ve got the time, really fun. Woo a hater. Dissolve their guard. Get a naked picture of them. Hold the fuckers to ransom. Delete the photo though. Don’t actually blackmail. That’s going to eat you up
- Enjoy it. Andy Warhol said “Don’t pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.” Isn’t it great that you’re so wonderful that people need to take time out to give you a knock. Hate is a compliment.
- In short, don’t let it in. Internet hate is basically like someone sticking a hair-drier in your face. It’s annoying and gets you hot and bothered… however, you can always kick the plug out of the socket.
Remember that episode of Winnie the Pooh where he broke into Rabbit’s house, ate all his honey then smashed the place up leaving? Turns out, this wasn’t the first indication that Winnie the Pooh is a sociopath
We’ve applied Hare’s Psychopathy Checklist to unedited Winnie the Pooh comics to prove…
“Grown-ups love figures… When you tell them you’ve made a new friend they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies? ” Instead they demand “How old is he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make? ” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.”—Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince (via asleepylioness)
“Of all the problems with White Feminism, one of its biggest is that, like other forms of whiteness, white feminism just sees itself as ‘feminism’ without realizing that it’s falling into the old pitfall of viewing whiteness as the default standpoint and point of view. It assumes that white feminism speaks for all womanhood and all people, and that it is the paradigm that will eliminate oppression. White Feminism attacks what it perceives to be misogyny against its own definition of femininity and womanhood, not realizing that it often supports colonization, racism, cultural appropriation, and reinforces white supremacy by discounting and dismissing the experiences and perspectives of women of color.”—Why ‘White Feminism’ isn’t effective Feminism (via feministmoonbeam)